32 Flavor Challenge - Flavor #3 Maui mint chocolate chipper

This winter, Elena, Anna and I went on a trip to Hawaii, spending most of our space journey on the island of Maui. In remembrance of the good times we had and the friends we made I concocted this recipe. What puts the aloha in this recipe is a couple teabags from Maui, they contain things like peppermint, mamaki, lemon grass, chamomile, cinnamon bark and star anise. At first I was just gonna make regular mint chocolate chip (because it's my fave), but then I remembered I had these magical teabags. So into the pot they went. I'm glad I added them, I think it brought the ice cream to the next flavor dimension. Oh! And you can purchase these awesome teas online if you so desire. Anyways so many Maui stories to tell, but we're here for ice cream, so let's keep on keepin' on. 

Elena and I in between Big Beach & Little Beach

Flavor #3 Maui mint chocolate chipper

Ingredients:

2 Cans coconut milk (A little less than 4 C.)

2 Makawao mint teabags 

3 C. fresh mint

½ C. sugar

1 t. vanilla extract

*If you, understandably, can't obtain these teabags, a normal mint tea would be fine too, or you can omit the tea bags entirely and just add more mint. OR you can try to recreate the teabags. 

Unlike the other flavors posted so far, this recipe uses coconut, resulting in a creamier ice cream and does not require the thickening magic of arrowroot. To begin the ice cream process, go ahead and pour your coconut milk into a medium sized sauce pan. Heat it on medium, making sure that it does boil. 

As that's heating up grab your mint and sort through it. I chopped up my mint a bit, but in hindsight I don't think it's necessary, as it just made straining out the mint more difficult. In my bunch of mint I found an assortment of insects including this fellow here, so be careful!

So cute! So slimy!

Once your coconut milk is warmed up, go ahead and add the mint and teabag. Turn the heat down to low, and just let those flavors infuse for about 30 minutes or so. You could probably infuse for a shorter amount of time, but I wanted to get as much mint as possible into my ice cream.

Some serious infusion going on here.

After your coconut milk has been infused go ahead and strain out the leaves and tea bag. I just used a slotted spoon so I wouldn't have to deal with pouring hot liquids through a strainer or something like that. Then let that mixture chill in the fridge. If I haven't mentioned it already, it's extremely important to make sure your pre-ice cream slurry is thoroughly chilled before you put it in the ice cream maker! If it's not chilled your ice cream will not freeze as well. I usually let my mixtures chill for like 5-6 hours, if not overnight. So be patient!  When your ice cream batter is nice and chilled, get the chocolate ready.

Just choppin' some chocolate.

So this step will be different for different people and their ice cream makers....I have a nice little hand cranker so I got my ice cream about half of the way done and then added the chocolate shavings. Using a spoon to cram them in doesn't hurt either.

And there you have it! Delicious Maui minty ice cream. My batch turned out extremely minty, which is what I was going for. Every burp was really minty, so it may be good in lieu of gum/breath mints/mouthwash/toothpaste/etc. I've got a lot of exciting flavors coming up and i'm trying to keep up with the blogs. I have made a new flavor every day since the conception of this idea, but I can't seem to blog as regularly. And I'm trying to hype up this project, how do I go about doing that?!

America's Next Top Matza Ball

i've been talking about restaurants a lot and probs not enough about food we've made! we made vegan matzo ball soup a long time ago. it was delicious.

32 Flavor Challenge - Flavor #2 “Sara's Childhood” with Apricots and Cinnamon

First off, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!  I certainly wouldn't have been able to concoct this flavor, inspired by my childhood, without having been birthed....so shout out to my mom, Estrella! I hope she never finds this blog.....

I'm totally the butterfly in the middle. 

So let's get right out into this thing. Maybe you're thinking “whoa, what is up with this flavor name?” Well let me tell you, when I was growing up in California (Concord, CA!) we lived in this little house, the nuclear fam and my paternal grandparents. It was a neat house, we had tons of rose bushes growing along our fence, gardenias and other pink flowers, and best of all an apricot tree. I totally forgot about this tree, until I was shopping the other day at M&M farms, this run of the mill produce market that has a rotating selection of Chilean grown fruits and veggies. 

Not my tree, but a similar one. 

Proust may have had his madeleines, but I had my apricots;tiny, sweet little fruity jewels. I squeezed the apricots available for purchase, making sure to select only the softies, the softer the sweeter is my rule for apricots. Oooh these babies were sweet alright, I bit into them and memories from my childhood came flooding back. Like that that time I pretended to run away by climbing up our apricot tree and just chillin' till someone noticed I was gone. Or eating playdoh in the backyard mmmmm yeah playdoh ice cream. 

Anyways, yeah. Thats what's up with this flavor du jour. Let's get on to the creating.....

Flavor #2 “Sara's Childhood” with Apricots and Cinnamon

Ingredients:

2 T. arrowroot

3 ½ C. soy milk

½ C. pureed apricots (use fresh ones!)

½ C. sugar or other natural sweetener

1 t. pure vanilla extract

3 T. cinnamon

1. In a small bowl, combine ¼ C. of soymilk and arrowroot, blend and set aside.

2. Cut up apricots and puree them in a blender. I used our trust Magic Bullet.

3. In a medium size sauce pan, heat the rest of the soy milk and the pureed apricots to a simmer. Keep stirring, don't let it boil! It's really important to sit a lot, the puree will eventually combine with the milk, so don't be discouraged! 

4. Then add the arrowroot mixture and stir until it thickens. You should be able to feel it thicken. Don't let it boil! Keep the heat nice and low.

5. Once it has thickened, remove the pan from heat, add the sugar and stir till it dissolves. Go ahead and add the vanilla extract and cinnamon. You may want to add more or less cinnamon, depending on how spicy you like your ice cream. I probably used way more than 3 tablespoons to be honest.

6. Let the mixture cool, then refrigerate it till it's nice and cold. The colder the better. Then freeze in ice cream maker.

7. Garnish with fresh apricots if you have any left. Mmmmmm yeah.

"Refreshing" - A. Martin

"Hit's all five flavor stations on my tongue" - A. Fitzgerald

Restaurant Project: Tiengarden

i've wanted to go to tiengarden FOREVER. finally ariela agreed to go with me, although she's been there before. it's a novelty for ME.

tiengarden is a vegan joint on allen street. i was really super excited about going, but ended up kind of non-plussed. this may be because i went for a semi-early lunch, and i don't get really excited about food until after 3:00.

ariela got cold sesame noodles, which were pretty to look at and pretty damn tasty.


i had this bok choy/tofu/carrot/mushroom concoction, which was great, but a lot of bok choy and not a lot of the other stuff.


tiengarden was good, but not as good as i'd anticipated! i give it a b; no plus or minus, just a b. what vegan delights are in my future? only time will tell..

Restaurants: Su Xing House: Philadelphia, PA

lest you believe that everything in philadelphia is totally gross, let me quickly tell you about a wonderful place mr benjamin picante rhine turned me onto during my aforementioned visit: su xing house! su xing is an adorable all-vegetarian chinese joint in center city. i was in such a daze that i neglected to notice exactly where, but menupages says 15th and sansom, so let's go with that.

i'm broke as a joke that isn't particularly funny, so i'm all about LUNCH SPECIALS!

we got miso soup! tough to mess up, wonderful to eat.


ben ordered this gorgeous shredded soy protein in garlic sauce, with a side of braised mushrooms. OM NOM NOM NOM


i had general tso's tofu with a side of seaweed - the best general tso's tofu i've ever had! crispy, light, and the perfect mix of sweet and spicy - and the ginormous chilis lurking between the tofu cubes made me really happy.

congratulations, philadelphia - you have ONE THING that doesn't suck.

Restaurants: Gianna's Grille, Philadelphia, PA

In my fledgling vegan years, I lived in Philadelphia and depended on cute boys to tell me where to find delicious animal-free delights in the City of Brotherly Love. My friend Wish turned me onto Gianna's Grille, which at the time was a legendary vegan pizza joint just off South Street. Gianna's claim to have originated that which we know all over the Eastern seaboard as "Vegan Treats," delightful cupcakes and cakes and other amazing dessert products that defy all explanation! And their pizza was delicious - until the great vegan scandal of 2003 (or so), when it came to light that the cheese they used on their pizza contained casein!

Re-veganized, Gianna's pressed on, and because their desserts were so delicious I never really gave up on them. They quit lying to me about what I was eating, and somehow I never stopped loving them. Lie to me, just keep me well fed - this sounds a lot like most of my romantic misadventures. Anyway, years passed, I moved away from Philadelphia, and Gianna's experienced a lot of changes over the years, including the delightful-but-failed Gianna's Jr. in Center City! Whenever I came back to Philly, I'd always make sure to stop there - so a few weeks ago, I swung by the old S 6th St location for a slice of delicious nostalgia.

And um...


Yeah, Gianna's is done. No selection, rude(r than usual) staff, and then there's this dry, unwelcoming-looking piece of unhappiness they call a Sicilain slice. You really let me down this time, guys.


Um, but I might still pop by for cannoli. Old habits die hard.

The 32 Flavor Challenge

Hello out there! I'm Sara, and this is my first post to "Were you gonna eat that?" (I think). I wanna kick off my recipe with a brief-ish anecdote about ice cream....

So about a year ago the dolls of the dollhouse picked up an ice cream maker at our local Milford, CT church tag sale for about a dollar or so. We were skeptical about it actually working, but the thought of having on demand vegan ice cream was too great a thought for Elena to say no to. Our first attempts at becoming ice creamers were deemed edible by a group of potheads, but that's really not saying much about (cr)edibility... 

Flash forward to May 7, 2009. I had just finished my first year of graduate school, quit my job at an "asian bistro" in a McFlurry of tears and obscenities, and was left with essentially nothing to do! I had dabbled in making food out of felt, getting my brain scanned for money and pillaging my Netflix queue; yet I still felt an emptiness in my heart. 

Felt Edamame. 

Opening up our freezer, I found our trusty little ice cream maker, nice and frozen after all those lonely months. At first I paid it no attention, after all I was on a mission for Tofutti cuties, everyone's favorite processed food dessert. Alas, the box was empty and I was without my creamed ice and sandwich cookie. 

"Saaaaaraaaaaa......", called a faint chilly voice. No one was home and it couldn't be the cat, she had stopped communicating with me after that last acid trip.

I pressed my face deeper and deeper into the freezer until half my body was inside. "Wow! This freezer is a lot bigger than I thought". (Think The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, but a freezer). Luckily I was wearing my winter coat so I journeyed onwards, that voice getting closer and closer as I crawled further and further into the icebox.  

Our ice box.

Suddenly, everything went dark and I felt this strange sensation, it was like I was falling, but I knew that couldn't be! Despite being inside my freezer a la Mr. Popper's Penguins, the laws of physics couldn't have failed me! Below me I could see a light, and it was getting closer and closer to me...or was I getting closer and closer to it? I began to make out a faint shape, it was similar to a truck.....strangely similar to an ice cream truck.....ok, it was an ice cream truck. I could no longer cling to rational thought; I had definitely fallen off the edge of reality via my freezer, and I was rapidly approaching a floating ice cream truck. 

I fell and fell, passing the ice cream truck, banana splits, creamsicles, snocones, and other varieties of sundae. (Think Alice in Wonderland, but with ice cream). As I fell through a cloud of rainbow sprinkles, I began to suspect that my descent would never end. But as soon as the thought passed through my brain I landed on the ground with a thud. I looked around and around, and couldn't believe my eyes; standing in front of me was my ice cream maker! It was alive! And talking to me!

“Greetings Sara. So glad you could make it to the nether regions of the fridge, it's awfully lonely back here”.

“Uhhhh.....what do you want from me?”, I asked my ice cream maker. 

“I'm here to inform you about the 32 flavor challenge. You're our only hope!” 

“What are you talking about? Does this have something to do with Baskin Robbins?”

“No, no, no!! Damn that ice cream man!” my little ice cream maker screamed, “We're talkin' about something totally different....Sara, we need you to make 32 flavors of vegan ice cream and we need them to be good, like really good”.

“Well I don't know.....I mean i'm pretty busy”. I lied, I mean who did this ice cream maker think it was?

“Oh c'mon, I know what you do all day....let's be real. The fate of the vegan ice cream universe rest in your hands”.

“But I can't do this alone!”

“Don't worry, I'll be by your side, the two of us will take over the ice cream universe....together”.

“Oh ice cream maker, I love you! Let's get on this challenge!”

When I came to, I was laying on the floor and my roommate Anna was hovering over me.

“Dude, are you ok?”

“My god Anna, I just fell into this parallel ice cream universe and the ice cream maker told me I had to do this 32 flavor challenge to save the ice cream universe....so anyways I am gonna do it”.

I opened the freezer in hopes of showing her where I had been, but it was just a freezer. I took my trusty ice cream maker in my hands, held it close, and whispered into it's handle, “Don't worry baby, we're gonna make it through this”.

“Whoa, dude”, Anna interjected, “you have way too much free time, maybe you should get your brain scanned again”.

Me and my baby after our long journey.

So there you have it. The 32 flavor challenge. Maybe it was a little long winded, but I'm on a mission and I just thought you should know about it. 

Flavor #1 Earl Green Tea

Ingredients:

2 T. arrowroot

4 C. soy milk

5 teabags of Earl Green

½ C. sugar or other natural sweetener

1 t. pure vanilla extract

This recipe is an adaptation of the ice cream recipe from Vegan Planet. Earl Green Tea is like, Earl Grey, but with green tea, rather than black. It's da bomb. I used the Trader Joe's brand. The flavor is quite nice....subtle like other green tea ice creams, but with a hint of Fruit Loopy bergamot oil.

1. In a small bowl, combine ¼ C. of soymilk and arrowroot, blend and set aside.

2. In a medium size sauce pan, heat the rest of the soy milk to a simmer. Keep stirring, don't let it boil! When the milk is heated, add the tea bags and let them steep for about 5 minutes or so. 

3. After the bags have steeped, take them out and discard 'em. Then add the arrowroot mixture and stir until it thickens. You should be able to feel it thicken. Don't let it boil! Keep the heat nice and low.

4. Once it has thickened, remove the pan from heat, add the sugar and stir till it dissolves. Go ahead and add the vanilla extract. If you would like (I did) add a couple drops of green and yellow food coloring to get a nice pale green tea color. 

5. Let the mixture cool, then refrigerate it till it's nice and cold. The colder the better. Then freeze in ice cream maker.

Little owl enjoying some Earl Green Ice Cream.

Wok Like A Zombie

FOWYGET? (Friend of Were You Gonna Eat That?) Hilary is OBSESSED with everything Asian - mostly Asian men, but also Asian food sometimes. She taught us how to make this INCREDIBLE, super spicy stir fry that may actually be eating my stomach lining, but is totally wonderful.



INGREDIENTS:
- olive oil
- 1/2 clove garlic, chopped
- chilis
- one block extra firm tofu, cubed
- broccoli, cut into bite-size pieces
- baby bok choy, slightly steamed
- 2 ripe tomatoes, diced
- 1/2 package white mushrooms, sliced
- rice vinegar
-apple cider vinegar
- soy sauce

Hila taught me how to make this first as a sauce for vegetables, and then we turned it into a stir fry - so this is largely improv. We started out by frying the tofu in olive oil with a little garlic and a few crushed chilis, so it would be firmer on the sides and also spicy and delicious. Hilary is very patient and i am not.


When the little cubes were brown on the sides and lookin' fine, Hila put them in a separate bowl so they could sit and wait for the glorious bed of vegetables that awaited! We started up another pan with olive oil, generous chopped garlic and what Hilary helpfully describes as "enough" chilis. Then we added mushrooms and the pulp from the tomatoes. Those cooked until they smelled so good we just about died.

Um, that keeps posting sideways. Not sure why. Okay! Hila steamed the bok choy just a little bit to soften it up, while I added the broccoli. When both of these things were starting to soften, we combined them with the diced tomato and finally the tofu.


The next part is critical! Sprinkle the stir fry with a light coating of rice vinegar, followed by a splash of apple vinegar. Let that simmer for a bit, and then when you're absolutely sure everything is almost done cooking, add a generous helping of soy sauce. This will change the chemical composition of what's happening, so you have to take the stir fry off the heat shortly thereafter - I don't know; it's science. Do what the nice lady tells you. The resulting sauce will be SPICY AS FUCK, but amazing.

Enjoy over brown rice! I am about to go make some right now.

Restaurats: Veggie Heaven: Austin, TX

when sara and i were in austin, we went to veggie heaven, an amazing vegetarian restaurant on guadalupe.

we got this crazy-lookin' sushi as an appetizer. it's filled with yellow radish, cucumber and carrot, and came with wasabi and ginger. om nom nom nom:


then i ordered the magic tomato, which involves broccoli, baby bok choy, cauliflower, carrots, napa cabbage, fried tofu, onions in spicy gingery brown sauce, and (obvs) magic tomatoes. it's really freakin' spicy and comes with rice, and i want to learn how to make this sauce so i can put it on everything forever:


sara got a veggie chicken bowl over rice noodles, and looked cute while eating it.


um, five stars, fucking delicious and super cheap. i would like to have a smaller version of this place inside my apartment, like how richie rich had a mcdonald's in his house in that macaulay culkin movie.

some chick behind us on the plane ride home was bragging into her cell phone about how she'd gotten lunch from this place to eat on the plane. DAMN that's a great idea.. next year!

Restaurant Project: Lan Cafe

the other day elena rounded up the troops and made an announcement: there are 127 vegan restaurants listed in new york city on supervegan.com, and we haven't been to all of them! what's WRONG with us?

so let's get started!

our first stop was lan cafe, a vegetarian vietnamese place on east 6th street. it's a tiny little place i don't think i'd notice from the street, but once we got inside we loved the atmosphere and um, pretty much everything.

i forget what this soup was called, but it had okra AND pineapple in it and was sort of hot and sour? maybe? recommended.

look at all those things that aren't normally in soup but turn out to taste good there! who knew?

we got this lemongrass marinated tofu, which was too pretty not to take pictures of.


and THIS is some freaking lovely tea.


verdict: four stars, full bellies, very happy. this can only get better.

Veganspiration

not all of this is vegan, but i am highly impressed with this youtube series called "great depression cooking." it stars the uber-adorable great grandma clara, who teaches viewers how to make the meals her family ate during the 1930s and tells charming stories about bootleggers. i want my grandma to do this too!



this one (pasta with peas) is kinda carb-heavy, but vegan, cheap and soul-warming. i made it last week (with tricolor rotini) and it was one of my favourite things i've eaten in weeks! i added carrots with the peas, and substituted a big can of diced tomatoes for tomato sauce. i also recommend basil. who knew the depression was so friggin tasty?

one day i hope to start my own "depression cooking" web series, wherein we will eat a whole box of oreos and call it breakfast. hey-o.

3 Tiers For Cupcakes!

!Hip hip horahchomchompchomp..

yay elephants sitting admist ambrosial wilds. And nutrition brought to us by cupcakexxx, a ms. mustakos and the younger royer boy. I sat and watched and ate and snapped low quality photos. Prop handler I suppose.

Dinner = Coconut polenta, with savorinessauce mmm

The scrumptiousness marched on into the evening when we discovered sunken milford treasure in the oven: Man-o-war -upon-Milford-Beaches Jelly Donut Cupcakes. Laura and Alex baked them from the Veganomicon recipie and put Rose Preserve inside and used sweet rice flour and arrowroot powder instead of the boring old types of things. They were chewy and sunken in the middle and looked just dashing in their pleated silver new year's eve gowns. Resplendent resourcefullness indeed! The swirling pink jellyl in the middle was uncannily like the jellys that sting so very painfully on connecticut's coasts. Milford was in dire need of a more benevolent jelly situation In Deed.

Upon tier segundo were Jacob’s pumpkin banana walnut cupcakes. They were taken and evolved quickly in the 198 1/2 kitchen from a Martha Stewart recipie of all things. prisonlicious. They were soft and tasted like like pumpkin pies in my mouth.

Now follow me up to the third tier! Coconut and chocolate macaroons. Like sweet bales of hay breaking open in the mouth! oh i'd bother to find a needle in them if I had to. would spend a lot of time with these little guys, no problems.

So Yes its true! It all really happened in my mouth! I know. wow.

And then much, much aloha in my mouth when I poured this Fire rock kona pale ale my mother so sentimentally purchased into my gullet.

In summary:

I say: Mmyumyomyum, “what is this icing?!”

and jacob replies: “uhm…sugar and butter.”

I never knew I was so easily satisfied by soy butter and sugar alone! A chubby Detroit child lives within me bones I guess.

A fortune cookie from e_lena, reminding me that it is important essentially to:

Play as hard as you work and be “potentially less stressed”

!

lucky numbers: mystic 13

Tasty Curry of Undetermined Ethnic Origin

elena's roommate annie gave me this recipe for thai curry out of a book. i tried making it with tofu and it didn't go so well, so the next time i tried seitan and it was perfect. i also tried adding okra, which i've never had in thai food ever, but the sliminess of the okra held the curry together pretty well. then i got carried away adding other vegetables. t.i. says you can add whatever you like!


INGREDIENTS:
- 1 package seitan (i used westsoy vegetarian stir fry strips)
- 2-5 dried chili peppers, chopped (i used mexican instead of thai - whatever)
- extra virgin olive oil
- 1 jar green thai curry paste (thai kitchen - for some reason all the other kinds of curry paste have shrimp or fish in them)
- 3-5 cloves garlic, minced
- 2 tsp grated ginger
- 1 onion, chopped
- 2 medium potatoes, cubed
- 2 carrots, chopped
- 1 red pepper, chopped
- 4-5 white mushrooms, chopped
- 1 pkg okra, chopped (i think like 20 pieces?)
- salt
- 1 can coconut milk
- cinnamon
- fresh coriander, chopped

the first thing you'll probs want to do is chop up all the vegetables, to save time later. i made the mistake of putting them all together in a bowl, which was annoying as i later learned they required different cooking times, but boy did they look pretty:


heat up some oil in a wok, add the crumbled-up chilis and then the seitan. the more chilis you add, the spicier your curry will be. fry to your preference, then remove it from heat and set aside.

in a large saucepan, add more oil and fry the garlic and the ginger for two minutes. we learned that if you keep your ginger in the freezer, it's a lot easier to grate.

add the onion and a dash of cinnamon (to taste).

then add curry paste and a few (maybe 3-4) full jars of water. bring it to a boil. you'll want it to be enough water to cover your curry, so you may need more or less water depending on how much stuff you're throwing in there.

add your potatoes, carrots, coconut milk and seitan. bring it back to a boil, and then reduce the heat, add okra, mushrooms and red pepper and simmer for 20-40 minutes (enough time for the carrots and potatoes to get tender). before eating, sprinkle in the slightest bit of salt and a dash of coriander.


oh man, delicious. eat it over brown rice! OM NOM NOM NOM.

and yes that is king tut on my water glass.

Sweet Sweet Fantasy Baby

we haven't quite started talking about restaurant food yet, but when we do, you better believe we are going to wax poetic about TEANY. teany is a cute little restaurant on rivington street that was originally owned by moby and is now owned by sparkly unicorns and magical elves who make really good vegan spinach dip. teany days are always the happiest days! sadly, we can't eat there every day - however, they DO sell some of their delicious teas so i can take them home and drink them ALL THE TIME.

the coconut tea (#50) is everybody's favourite (try it with a little soy milk and a lot of agave nectar), but there are lots of delicious options - even tea for the flu, hangover cure tea, and some crazy tea that was picked by monkeys. i'm fond of #54, apricot ginger peach.

it's worth noting that suzanne's "just like honey" rice nectar actually tastes just... like... hooooooneyyyy. use it to brighten up your rosh hashana celebrations! mariah carey would be proud.

Whirling Hors D'oeuvre-ish

elena had a brilliant idea: vegan pigs in a blanket!


i can't believe i never thought of this before!

you will need smart dogs, and you will need crescent rolls. spray a baking pan and cut the smartdogs into 2-inch pieces. wrap the crescent rolls around your little smart dog bits. bake 'em. the end.

we made these as hors d'ouvres for a party, but ate them all before the party because they were delicious.

Recession Special: Chili Con Tofu

my fellow americans:
in these troubled times, a lot of us are unemployed/semi-employed/freelancing/begging for change on the subway platform, and that often means cutting back on our food budgets. would you like to hear a secret? sure you would. guess what? veganism doesn't have to be expensive! here is a lovely recipe for those of you who are unemployed weirdos like me - a huge delicious pot of chili which you can savour for like, what would be a week to most normal people but ends up being roughly 3 full days for someone who eats as much as i do. today i bought all the ingredients and they came out to a whopping $17, which is a pretty sweet deal. this is ideal for your purposes, because it's filling, delicious and loaded with precious protein. i stole this recipe from somewhere on the internet and adapted it for my own needs.

here's what you need:

except i forgot some stuff in the picture. whatever. maybe you'd prefer a list?

INGREDIENTS:
- 4-5 cloves garlic, diced
- 3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
- 1/2 medium-sized yellow onion, diced
- 1/2 a package of white mushrooms, sliced
- 1 package extra firm tofu, crumbled
- 1 green pepper, diced
- 1 tsp cumin
- 2 tbsp or more chili powder
- a whole lot of cayenne pepper (or 1/4 tsp if you're a pussy like elena)
- 14-16 oz plain canned tomato sauce (whatever's on sale, dude)
- 28 oz plain diced tomato, with liquid
- 2 28-oz cans red kidney beans, drained

sooooo you're gonna put the olive oil and garlic in the pot and heat that up a little over a medium-high flame, and once that gets going you'll add the onion and start moving that around - make sure the onions are starting to get a little transluscent before you add the other stuff. add the mushrooms next, sautee, etc. after that, add the crumbled tofu.. i prefer larger chunks, but you may feel differently. add green pepper and stir until the pepper's just barely tender - about five minutes. add spices liberally.

now you're gonna bring the flame down as low as it'll go and add your tomato sauce, diced tomato and drained kidney beans. awesome. i'm sort of a masochist so i like my food as spicy as possible - i continue adding cayenne to taste, and often throw in this insane hot sauce i bought at tears of joy in austin, tx called BEYOND DEATH SAUCE.

you can't tell in the picture, but someone stuck a post-it note on the neck of the bottle that says BE CAREFUL WITH THIS SHIT! sometimes one drop is all the chili needs.

after this you're gonna put a lid on the pot and let it simmer for 45 minutes, stirring occasionally. the longer you simmer, the better it'll be, but it's gonna start smelling really amazing and you're gonna start losing willpower about 20 minutes in. be strong. maybe while this is going you could make some brown rice, cos a huge bag of that is only a few bucks and if you eat your chili over rice, you'll get full faster.


then you eat it.


the best part? you just made a LOT of food, dude. it's gonna last you a while. the longer it sits in your fridge (within reason), the more the tofu sucks up the flavors and spices, which is a definite bonus:


also, i made this chili for my carnivore dad once and he liked it.